Dear Neely,
I have been dating my current girlfriend for over 7 months now. The energy is great, we have an amazing connection, and I even get along with her parents. Needless to say I am head over heels, and now in that danger zone of wanting to say I love you for the first time. I am afraid of either 1.) freaking her out if she isn’t there yet (and creating that awful feeling for myself of not having your feelings reciprocated ) or 2.) waiting too long to say it and sending her the wrong message that I am not serious about the relationship. I have googled this endlessly looking for a rule of thumb, an answer, a prayer…to no avail. How long should you wait before dropping the “L” word? Help a brotha out!
Sincerely,
Lover Boy, Boston, MA
Takeaway points:
- 40 seconds: The amount of time you’ve been with someone is a factor, but try thinking less about WHEN you should say I love you and more about WHY you want to say it and you will have your answer.
- 54 seconds: There are 3 times when you shouldn’t say I love you. Tune in to hear what I have to say.
- 2:07: When you can feel really good about saying I love you.
- 2:47: A lot of times women are advised to let the man say I love you first. I explain why.
- 3:25: It should be less about gender and more about your motive for saying it.
- 3:45: The worst that can happen is that the other person doesn’t say it back but if you were saying it for the right reasons, at least you stayed true to the honest feelings you had. See this Seinfeld clip for George’s dilemma:
Submit your dating/relationship questions to neely@blastmagazine.com.