But all kidding aside about bad special effects and horrendous dialogue, the film’s saving grace is the scene between Bella and Charlie as she’s preparing to run from James. Beautifully acted by both Stewart and Billy Burke, Charlie’s hurt and desperation are understated and authentic, and Stewart’s physical acting was very good. Hands-down the best moment of the film, it is also the only one during which I couldn’t feel a smile at the corner of the my lips.
In fact, Kristen Stewart’s performance as Bella is impressive in general. Not because she stayed true to the books, but rather because she managed to give a little personality to a flat (or at least obnoxious) character and with a lot less narration than I’d feared. Granted, Bella was fairly dull at times, but at times she had a touch of Juno-cool and a few of her well-delivered one-liners made me crack a smile when I was supposed to.
The supporting cast was quite good as well, with the notable exception of Jackson Rathbone’s Jasper, whose every scene is laugh-out-loud funny. From the first moment we see him, his face is screwed up in this bizarre “Did I just fart?” expression that doesn’t quite say “I’m in pain because of the humans” so much as it does “Maybe if I just stand here, no one will notice.”
The rest of the vampire crew was dull verging on decent. Despite his horrendous makeup, Peter Facinelli gave an okay performance as Carlisle, the humanitarian vampire doctor. Elizabeth Reaser as Esme was slightly more memorable than her character, which was probably a result of her having a face and one odd line about “Italiano.” Nikki Reed as Rosalie wasn’t beautiful so much as unexplainably bitchy and I’d have liked to see Kellan Lutz’s Emmett have a bigger part; his wave hello with the knife was one of the few intentionally funny moments that worked.
Cam Gigandet’s James and his merry band of vampire friends gave some of the best acting of the film; the scene on the boat, for instance, was pretty well done, and James absolutely stole the show in the ballet studio.
The human (or seemingly human) cast of Forks – Mike, Eric, Jessica, Angela, and Jacob – were a blast. While Angela was vaguely forgettable, Mike, Eric, and Jessica each had great moments and they managed to accomplish what Meyer didn’t in the books; that is, they make the human life that Bella gives up appealing. And as long as the adorable Taylor Lautner continues being adorable, he’ll make a wonderful Jacob if they do make a second film.
So, what’s the verdict?
Everything about the technical direction, from the melodramatic and out-of-place “300”-style cinematography to the unbearably corny score, was just plain bad. And those two elements alone are nearly enough to make “Twilight” an unwatchable film.
But it’s Edward and Bella’s dialogue that pushed it over the edge. Not once was the acting, the lovely set design, or the occasional funny one-liner enough to stop me from cringing at bad line after bad line after bad line. If Hardwicke & co. had rebranded the film as a satire, they wouldn’t have had to change a thing; the forced, uncomfortable delivery of mushy-gushy lines ripped straight from the book is simply unbearable. While the film has its good moments, overall it is simply not adapted enough from the novel and the direction and acting suffers because of it.
So, my advice? Go into the theater expecting a comedy and you’ll have a great time.